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If we are honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that the toughest person to lead is ourselves.

~John C. Maxwell

1. Learn to follow before you try to lead.

Only a leader who has followed well knows how to lead others well. Good leadership requires an understanding of the world that followers live in. In contrast, leaders who have never followed well or submitted to authority tend to be prideful, unrealistic, rigid, and autocratic.

2. Develop self-discipline.

Each of us is the “king ” or “queen” of our own lives, meaning that we are ultimately responsible for our actions and decisions. To make good decisions consistently and refrainin from wrong ones, requires character and self-discipline.

3. Practice patience.

Most leaders I know struggle with impatience, including me! However, being able to look ahead doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right time to move ahead. Few worthwhile things in life come quickly. Remember that your growth is happening in a slow-cooker, not a microwave.

4. Seek accountability.

This is an important step because this is where our enemy (ourselves) really trips us up. Good leaders know they can’t trust themselves, they know their own fallibility, and they put measures in place to keep from stepping into danger. First, don’t rely on just yourself. Second, be accountable to someone worthy and reliable. Then, be willing to explain your actions and get advice from those holding you accountable, and I trust you’ll stay on track.

The WORST president in history…

According to a U.S. News & World Report article I read recently, Warren G. Harding ranks as one of the top ten worst U.S. Presidents of all time. So, naturally I looked into his life and how he led. I found some interesting red flags that contributed to this flop in leadership. I want to share them with you here because I’ve talked about the value of great mentors and how their character and their accomplishments should be worth modeling after.

[bctt tweet=”One way of knowing what to do is to look at what not to do.”]

So, here’s what I learned about President Harding. Use these as guidelines for what you should avoid as you scout out potential mentorship relationships, and as you assess your own life while seeking to mentor others.

A GOOD MENTOR IS NOT INSECURE.

Instead of selecting advisors on the basis of their competence, Harding surrounded himself with admirers to feed his need for personal affirmation. Among these followers were men who had been imprisoned, had accepted bribes, had been charged for corruption, were forced to resign, and one man who committed suicide in the wake an investigation for fraud. Putting his corrupt buddies in powerful government positions only caused him one headache after another.

Good mentors are confident in and of themselves. They know their value, and they surround themselves with others who seek to add value.

A GOOD MENTOR IS NOT A PEOPLE-PLEASER.

In aiming to please people rather than hold them accountable, Harding created a culture of suspicion. People were aware of misdealing in his administration, but they couldn’t count on him to confront the corruption of the people closest to him. When news of government corruption reached the public, the culture of suspicion expanded nationwide. Citizens were distrustful, and no amount of back-tracking could change the damage that Harding had treated passively for so long.

A good mentor speaks the truth. He or she behaves in the spotlight and in private with the utmost integrity.

THE TAKEAWAY

President Harding’s time in office got me thinking about role models—people we follow and look up to. It’s crucial to our success in life to have people ahead of us to follow, and it’s just as crucial for those leaders to have exceptional character. They must lead by example.

The people we follow must demonstrate character worthy of emulating. You see, we become like the people we admire. Jim Rohn says you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. The truth is, if you’re going to grow, you’re going to spend a lot of time with your role models and their teachings. They should be worthy examples to follow.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

I encourage you today to consider the five people with whom you spend the most time. Ask yourself what kind of example they provide for you. Do they inspire and teach you or deflate you?

Or, if you don’t have five, make a list of the specific strengths or skills you want to improve to reach your potential and the areas where you know you need ongoing guidance. Then consider a few people you know or would like to know who can help you in those areas, even if you just ask them one question at a time.

 

This post was originally shared by John C. Maxwell.

It’s a losing bet to wait until you feel ready.

~Mel Robbins

Have you ever hesitated or put off a task that you KNOW is important, but you can’t seem to push forward? Maybe you believe it’s the lack of confidence or your bad habits of procrastination.

On Lewis Howes’ School of Greatness, he interviews Mel Robbins, a bestselling author and the most booked female speaker in the world. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her speak on stage multiple times and she’s blown me away every time. I highly recommend you check out the interview below where you’ll learn:

  • How habits (good and bad) will determine your level of success
  • The significance of controlling your thoughts vs. your feelings
  • Why people continue to be stuck EVEN though they know what to do to move forward
  • The power of the 5 Second Rule and how it will help you gain confidence

Opinions. Everyone has them. That’s why they’re only worth two cents.

The number one fear of American adults is public speaking. Can you believe that people fear public speaking more than they fear death?! But why is that?

It’s not the actual act of public speaking that people fear, but it’s the fear of looking foolish in front of others. We care SO much about how others perceive us and often times that holds us back from becoming someone great. It’s not just about public speaking, but it’s any instance where we have to get in front of people. Athletes, actors, musicians, entrepreneurs, online marketers, teachers and basically anyone that goes out in public — sometimes what we wear is affected by what others think!

We’re worried about the interviewer that holds the ticket to achieving our career goals. We’re worried about the attractive person rejecting us if we ask them out. We’re worried about gaining the approval of our peers and family members. When we are chained by caring about what other’s think of us, we are limiting our ability to serve others and impact lives including our own.  The fear of them judging us is ripping away our confidence and joy in the present moment.

At the end of the day, you can’t please everyone. It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations, and you will never be able to stop people from judging you. You can, however, stop it from affecting you.

Here are a few tips to help you move past this roadblock.

1. Understand Your Core Values

You need to know what’s important to you in life, what you truly value, and what you’re ultimately aiming for. Whether it’s family, financial freedom, new experiences, impact, legacy, or relationships, you must understand what really matters in your life. When you know what you stand for and believe in, then what other people think of you becomes significantly less important.

This will help you overcome peer pressure and help you say no instead of saying yes to everything. If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for everything.

2. Elevate Your Circle of Influence

We often think that we need to receive constructive criticism or feedback from others which is partially true. However, most of us take ALL of the criticism to heart instead of the feedback from people that really matter. We don’t need to listen to the money advice from people with massive credit card debt. We don’t need to listen to business advice from those still working a job they hate. We don’t need to listen to relationship advice from someone who’s had three divorces.

It’s important to only open your ears to a select few number of people who you look up to and aspire to be. These are the people that have achieved what you want to achieve. And even with their advice and mentorship, it still shouldn’t hold you back from taking action on your goals and values.

3. 18/40/60 Rule

This eye opening quote from Dr. Daniel Amen will help you dance like no one’s watching.

When you’re 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you’re 40, you don’t give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you’re 60, you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all.

4. Be Authentically You and Laugh

What also holds us back from overcoming this fear is that we’re just not putting ourselves out there enough. Share yourself with the world. Be honest and authentic. You’ll begin to attract new people into your life and repel the ones that are holding you back.

You can do activities like blogging, Facebook Live, coaching, or even traveling alone. It’s also important to have the ability to laugh. When you can laugh at your own imperfections, you’ll stop the harsh self-criticism that you put yourself through. One the plus side, the more you smile and laugh, the more attractive you are.

[bctt tweet=”True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less. ~C.S. Lewis”]

 

When someone asks if they can give you their two cents, feel free to say no thanks.

2016 was a big year of growth with twists and turns, ups and downs, and a whole lot of running around. This year was filled with amazing trips to inspiring places around the world which helped me expand my vision for myself and my aspirations.I t was a year where I’ve had to let some people go, but a ton of new people quickly took their place. It was a year full of OCR races and sore legs! It was a year of learning how to get myself back on track after falling off…way off. This was the year where I’ve begun taking full responsibility for EVERYTHING in my life. All of these experiences this year, good and bad, are experiences I’m glad that happened and wouldn’t change for anything.

There are no bad experiences, only learning ones.

Here are my highlights from 2016 and what they’ve meant to me.

  • Spoke on my first national call with 500+ people to share my health transformation story
  • Next Level Achievers brand was born. Because I kept following a lot of online entrepreneurs, I had an itch that needed to be scratched and that was to create an online brand to share the things that I was learning in personal development.
  • Biggest month in business in February where my entire team came with me to Nashville for our company conference and three of us ranked advanced.
  • Trip to Dubai. Absolutely blew my vision to the sky with what’s possible. It inspired me to work faster to break free from my 9 to 5 to live the remote life.
    • Last sip of alcohol in my entire life was at a Ritz Carlton villa party in Dubai.
  • I led my first large group meeting with 50+ people in March.
  • First Savage Race, Rugged Maniac, and Conquer the Gauntlet opens up different possibilities in my OCR career.
  • I step back from my full-time job at the end of June. This was a huge moment for me. On January 1st, 2016, I wrote in my journal that in 6 months, I would leave my full-time job. When you write it down, you write it into existence.
  • Enjoyed life on the west coast by visiting LA, dipping my toes in the sands at Laguna Beach, taking in the sights at La Jolla Caves, and the perfect weather in San Diego. And topped it off with an awesome conference in Anaheim.
  • Trip to Cancun. I joined my parents on their team incentive trip for their business and my vision for my future team exploded. I saw the possibilities of the amazing trips my team and I will go on in the future! Also got to check off a ton of things from my bucket list!
  • Joined the amazing Breathe University community with Eric Thomas
  • Trip to Orlando. I’ve been to Orlando a ton of times, but this was my first hurricane! This weekend at our company conference, I also was the only one from my team that showed up. Just about everyone else didn’t attend due to the hurricane, including my mentors that live in Florida. This was when I realized that I need to step up and be the upline that I want my upline to be. I need to be the mentor, the leader, the entrepreneur that creates what is missing.
  • I start my training for OCR World Championships 2017!
  • Next Level Achievers is put to bed and my personal brand is reborn.
  • Trip to Vegas. I attend a massive conference with Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, and a ton of 7 and 8 figure earners in network marketing. My belief in network marketing and myself goes insane!
  • I make the switch to focus on building my personal brand and using social media to build my network marketing business. I have to adapt to the new way of communication while also using the fundamental skills to take my business to the next level.

If there was one lesson that was to be learned from my 2016 experiences, it’s to travel more. Did you notice that every time I had a major breakthrough, I was traveling in another city? Each time, I had an explosion in belief and vision! I’m so excited for what 2017 has to bring, and I’ve already got a ton of new places booked for travel and breakthroughs!

Knowledge is the NEW MONEY! Get you some!

~Eric Thomas

Have you ever finished reading a personal development or self-help book, but can’t remember what the key takeaways were? Have you ever gone to a seminar or weekend conference and forgotten everything by Monday? For a lot of us, including myself, the information we hear or read goes into our brains, but it never fully sticks or takes root.

We get so overloaded with information every single day.

With such ease of access to information on the internet, our brain’s space gets used up by all the useless crap we see on Facebook, the news, and other social media feeds. The stuff we wish to learn that could better our lives gets quickly replaced, because we haven’t had a chance to let those new ideas solidify themselves in our minds.

You might hear that writing it down or taking notes is a surefire way to quickly learn something. Implementing and taking action on a new idea or concept is another way for us to learn faster. These are great steps towards learning, but these still take a bit of time to leave permanent imprints on our brains. Taking notes is useless if you don’t read them over and over again after writing it down. And executing an idea may take up to 21 days before it solidifies into a habit.

So what’s the fastest way to learn a new idea?

TEACH!

There’s a difference between regurgitating words from memory versus teaching an idea to someone. When you can relay information to another person and continue to do so UNTIL they understand what it is you’re teaching, that’s when you know you’ve fully learned the content.

Through teaching others, I’ve been able to retain information faster AND longer. I remember a time back in college when a group of friends and I were last minute cramming for a final exam. Usually when we do last minute studying, we cram the info into our brains just so we could remember it for a few hours. But I took a different approach to studying for the exam. I spent most of the time teaching all of my friends and testing them on the content instead of just doing silly flashcards and practice exams. To this day, I still remember all of the information from that class, and it had made a huge difference in my final exam results. I was the only student in the entire class to get an A on the final!

Ever since that AHA moment, I now intentionally learn things so that I could teach it to others. When you know in advance that you are going to pass this knowledge on to other people, you tend to pay more attention to what you’re hearing or reading. During live seminars or conferences, I also pay attention to HOW the speaker is teaching the information, so that I could adopt the same emotional effect on the listeners. People don’t remember what you say, but they remember how you made them feel.

Obviously everyone learns in different ways, but this is one method of learning that I believe is under utilized. I’ve been able to learn information within three sessions of teaching others whether it’s team phone calls, group presentations, online videos, etc.

Your ability to learn faster also benefits others by providing value to them.

The best perk of learning via teaching is that you’re developing others while you grow yourself! Information is completely useless if it’s not implemented or if it’s kept to oneself. I highly encourage you to not only continue to invest in yourself, but also invest in others by teaching them what you learn.

 

One of my strongest core beliefs is that if you want to elevate your game in anything, elevate your circle of influence. Yesterday, I found myself spending the day working out with one of my awesome friends who also happens to be an elite OCR athlete. With more than 20 podium finishes under her belt, she’s definitely someone I would want in my OCR circle of influence.

For the workout, she said that we would “take it easy”. What was a nice and chill workout for her was a very sweaty and challenging workout for me to say the least. I knew ahead of time that this was going to be difficult, but had it not been for two voices in my ear, I don’t know if I would’ve made it.

Lewis Howes had one of the leading behavioral and mindset experts in the world on his podcast, The School of Greatness. His guest has two NY Times bestsellers and has built five multi-million dollar companies. John Assaraf and Lewis Howes had an amazing conversation on how we can retrain our brains to transform our beliefs in order for us to reach success.

Don’t focus on the behaviors, focus on the beliefs that drive those behaviors.

~John Assaraf

One of the key takeaways that I got from listening to this during the workout was how my current beliefs limited my actions. I had never run more than 3 miles without taking walk breaks until yesterday. So I had a belief that I wouldn’t be able to do anymore than that during the workout, but something flipped in my mind and my beliefs changed. I was able to tack on 2.5 more miles than I normally would be able to!

I remembered WHY I wanted to push myself and train with a top athlete. I remembered WHY I was willing to endure the pain and the challenge. Once I remembered my WHY, I realized that I was only living on the edge of my potential. So I made a decision that I will not live on the edge of my potential anymore, but instead will fully leap into it.

I hope you enjoy this episode and have a major breakthrough as I have. I’ve already watched and re-listened to this episode three times! It’s been a mind-opening conversation for myself, and I hope you find value in this interview, too.

There is nothing more important than curating the content that goes into our mind. In this day and age, a ton of our social interactions have moved online. Thanks to Facebook, never before have we had so much immediate access to our friends and family’s life updates. We also don’t have to wait to see someone in person to share the latest viral video or some crazy thing that happened in the world. If anything tragic happens, it’ll immediately show up on Facebook…including The Walking Dead spoilers!

Not too long ago, we had most of our content curated for us by the news and media outlets on TV. And most of it is just stuff that drives up viewer ratings and puts money in the pocket of investors. Nothing does that better than negativity, drama, and gossip.

Now that we get most of our updates on Facebook, who’s producing that content? Your circle of influence. These are your Facebook friends, the pages you like, the groups you’re in, and even your friends’ pages that they like.

Although you can’t change what gets posted on Facebook by other people, you can definitely control what you see in your newsfeed. Here are a few tips to flip your newsfeed from negative, depressing gossip and political arguments to positive, uplifting support and inspiring stories.

1. Take Out the Trash

This is probably the easiest method of cleaning up your Facebook newsfeed. It’s time you start removing the Negative Nancys and Pessimistic Pattys from infecting your peace of mind. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of seeing the latest news on racist murderers or the drama between people and their coworkers. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Now I know a lot of us don’t want to completely unfriend others, but how can we get that mess outta here? I’d like to introduce the Unfollow Button!

Anytime you get tired of seeing someone post junk that doesn’t add value to your life, there’s a neat little button in the top right corner of that post which will give you an option to unfollow that person. (Sorry Drea)

Also, if it’s a friend you don’t want to unfollow, but sometimes they like to share ridiculous viral videos from let’s say World Star Hip Hop or Mashable News, there will be a second option that shows up to unfollow that Facebook page instead. Now anytime one of your friends try to share something from that page, you won’t see it! I’ve pretty much unfollowed every news outlet and every type of BuzzFeed page at this point.

2. Follow the Leader

Now that we’ve removed the negativity from our newsfeed, we might feel as though we’ll be missing out on things or have a hole in our Facebook. The
best way to fill that hole is to replace it with positive and uplifting vibes. We can do that by liking new pages and increasing the amount of posts that we do enjoy.

Who exactly should you follow? Well, it depends on the person you are trying to become.

If you want to become a leader of an organization or team, follow people like John C. Maxwell and Tony Robbins. If you want to your feed to have more inspiration and motivation, follow people like Brendon Burchard and Lewis Howes. If you want to be a professional network marketer, follow the gurus in the industry like Holton Buggs and Eric Worre. You’ll want to fill your feed with what’s relevant to you.

Once you figure out who to follow, you’ll want to see more of their posts. You can do that by going to their page and clicking “See First”. Now you’ll be able to get around Facebook’s newsfeed algorithm and actually see the things that you want.

3. Go Where the Cool People Hang Out

One of the best resources to find like-minded people are Facebook groups! These communities bring people together from all over the world that share common interests and goals. This is another way you can fully immerse yourself in whatever interests you.

If you want to stay up to date on obstacle course racing, join OCR groups. If you want to find accountability partners for weight loss, there are groups for that. If you want to plug into other entrepreneurs that are building a business with their blogs, they have groups for that.

I’ve met some of the most amazing entrepreneurs and personal development focused individuals that have changed my life dramatically. Finding your tribe is a game changer that will you keep you on track to your goals.

4. No New Friends

Sorry DJ Khaled and Drake, but this is a MAJOR KEY to your growth. A surefire way to transform your Facebook circle of influence is to connect with new friends. But where do we find these new friends?

Again, you’ll want to connect with people that have similar core values and goals as you do. If you’re in an OCR Facebook group, start filling your friends list with people from there. If you’re in a network marketing company, start connecting with people from that company. When you start filling your friends list with people that are on the same journey as you, you’ll start seeing them post things that are relevant to your goals which may be a small reminder for you to stay on track.

I’ve been able to connect with so many amazing entrepreneurs from all over the world, and it’s shown me that the world isn’t that big after all. Once I started networking with these people, they started connecting me with other entrepreneurs achieving at a higher level. I’ve been able to connect with millennial millionaires to industry leaders from networking on Facebook alone!

It’s time for you to realize that if you’re still hanging out with the same friends from high school or the same friends from 5 to 10 years ago, you’re likely not growing as fast as you wish you were (unless they were growing WITH you).

I cannot stress how important it is that if you want to elevate your life, you MUST elevate your circle of influence and that includes Facebook. I hope you implement some of these hacks so that you can start taking yourself to the next level even faster.

If you’ve been following me recently, you’d know that I had built a personal development brand called Next Level Achievers to break off from my personal brand. I thoroughly enjoyed building the brand, but after ten months of inconsistently putting out content (oops), I felt that something was wrong. I realized a handful of things that led me to make the decision to finally merge that brand back into my personal brand and I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

So why did I scrap Next Level Achievers?

It Split My Focus. 

While I was building NLA, I was also supposed to be focusing building on my network marketing business. The reason I created NLA was because I got hit with the shiny object syndrome and wanted to create an online presence. I thought I would be able to do both, but as we all know, “If you try to chase two rabbits, you’ll catch neither.”

When I woke up everyday, I felt unfocused. My priorities were split between wanting to create content for NLA and doing the income producing activities for my business. And because I was torn between the two, I ended up doing neither which was even worse!

I Hid Behind It.

When creating NLA, I had the intention of having other writers contribute to the site, so I tried to not claim it as my brand. My face wasn’t really anywhere to be seen on the site or the social media platforms. I also tried to use NLA as a way to funnel leads into the network marketing business, but there was one major problem. People don’t do business with ambiguous entities, they do business with people.

In a world where authenticity sets you apart from others in the online industry, NLA was just another motivational blog. Then I started doing live videos on my personal Facebook page and saw the tremendous engagement. But because it was separate from NLA, I felt torn. I saw how powerful it was to be vulnerable and authentic. It was then that I knew that I had to reform NLA back into my personal brand.

Not only will people be more willing to connect, but this will help me continue my growth and slowly improve my confidence every time I share all of my wonderful flaws and vulnerabilities. We all see everyone’s “highlights” online, but it’s the struggles and obstacles that we face in our daily lives that resonate and bring us closer together.

So changing the brand back to my name isn’t just about me. It’s about all of us and the support we show for each other while empowering others to show their true authentic selves.

It’s about choosing to share our best talents and gifts with the world, even if it scares the absolute crap out of us.

~Melyssa Griffin

If this is your first visit to this site, I would love for us to get to know each other better! Check out a little bit about me here!

Recently I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing my good friend and fitness coach, Jay Flores. He’s an entrepreneur, STEM ambassador, national keynote speaker, and founder of The OCR Project.

We talk about his mission to influence others to lead a healthier lifestyle through the sport of obstacle course racing. We discuss how the journey to success resembles an obstacle course race and how to continue to push forward even when you lose your footing. We also dive deep into turning your passions into a career and the importance of having mentors guide you on your path.

Check out the interview to hear Jay rock the house and drop some value bombs.

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In the interview, you’ll learn about:

The steps to creating a job or business that you can be passionate about 24/7 (2:22)

Why having a mentor or coach is a major key to your success (6:17)

How lifting others as you climb will empower you to achieve faster (16:10)

The importance of replacing the negative with mentors and learning (21:40)

How to continue to push forward when things get tough (29:08)

Follow Jay!

The OCR Project

Facebook

Snapchat

 

If you got some value from the interview, please share this with anyone that needs to listen in!